The truth is, I’ve been harboring pain and suffering for too long because I’m a masochistic glutton. It’s hard for me to let go. I really don’t know how to handle emotionally stressing situations. I just pretend to live and go on like everything Is just fine when It’s really not. I’ve been selfless and selfish at the same time in an unbalanced kind of way in my little world of resentment and unfulfilled needs. Recently my dad has been having trouble keeping his blood pressure in check and I am absolutely mortified at the idea of him having a heart attack. I depend so much on him without realizing it that when death is a near possibility, I choke just thinking about it. It really made me evaluate my priorities. There are certain goals that must be accomplished so that I can truly cope with the loss of a parent and even then, I have no idea how I’ll be able to manage that, at least emotionally. Right now I have to face my reality with the blindfold taken off and it fucking hurts. It makes me want to go back to being a kid when it was easier to deal with other kids calling me names rather than having to grow up and try to make a place for myself in the world while people still call me names. But whatever right? That’s life. You have to grow up and not cry about it when everything isn’t going your way. But crying sure helps sometimes to relieve the pent up anger, frustration, and depression that clouds your better judgement. No amount of mindless tasks is going to make your problems go away, too bad I realized this a bit too late. I mean, I knew, I just didn’t do anything about it because of my vices. I suppose it’s never too late to expell my inner demons and transform all the hate, anger, depression, sloth, and envy into something productive. I have plenty to look forward to but I lack the optimism to see it through. Hope and faith can only get you so far but I’m willing to make the effort because it is needed. Now if only I could get my thoughts and feelings to work together, that would be most excellent.

But what about when you want something else? You’re looking to watch something meaningful or entertaining. That’s when Vimeo comes in. Just like YouTube, Vimeo is a site dedicated to user generated content but it differs from YouTube because their focus is more artistic. Short films, animations, documentaries, these are the types of videos that mostly dominate Vimeo. Sure, you can probably find the same video on YouTube, but you’d have to search for it specifically because they get lost among all the chola make up tuts and babies saying funny things. I love Vimeo because that’s where I get my fix for independent films and animated shorts. Just look at this video:

Do you see the difference? YouTube is great and all but Vimeo is art.

The site layout is also very impressive, I’m not a big fan of yellow but this layout is so well put together with the black and white that everything is in harmony. You have a rotating header background with super retro black and white photos, you can interact with each post with the following opinions: How dare they, You’re a douche, Hilarious, I like this, and Umm, WTF? And you can also leave a comment. Sharing is easy with the social buttons on the bottom of each post and submitting your own dear blank is ultra simple, it’s integrated into the site design. From a designer point of view, this site is truly user friendly, attractive, neat, and fun. I highly recommend it, it’s a gem! I have an odd sense of humor and I swear I haven’t laughed so much in these past two days reading the site than I have in the past months. Incredible, eh? But very true.

Thank you Jared Wunsch and Hans Johnson for creating the site and enabling people to use it as an outlet for comic relief. And their new website Grouchy Rabbit is just as good.

Don’t you ever feel like you want to cut your eyes out? I was listening to a song and I made up these lyrics:

Cut my eyes out.
I do not wish to see.
Cut my eyes out.
I hope it makes you see.
Cut my eyes out.
What more do you need?
Cut my eyes out.
I want to be free.

Pretty depressing right? I haven’t been feeling so merry lately. Christmas always depresses me. Sure I love the decorations and lights, they’re colourful and bright but I always get a sensation of despair that’s hard to explain why, it just happens. Enjoy the new additions to my gallery.

We are probably the only animals that don’t contribute anything positive to the environment. I mean just look at the few places in the world where humans don’t live, it’s paradise. Very likely an icy paradise but nonetheless, paradise. We’re killing the planet and very few people are doing something about it and the people that do, are more likely making a profit from it. The whole going green campaign is just another excuse for the stock to go up and make money from “saving the planet’s resources”.  Think about recycling. You recycle paper, plastic, and metal, it goes to a recycling plant to be processed, and then companies buy the recycled material at a low cost to produce merchandise and sell it to you. You’re buying something you helped make and not getting anything in return. What you get in return is basically a clean conscience because you’re doing the right thing in lowering the consumption of Earth’s resources. We can’t all live on good intentions. That’s not the way the world works.

Electricity. Everyone has to pay their electric bill but did you know that there are ways to recycle energy to have a constant and never ending source of electricity? But think about it, electric companies can’t make any money if electricity is simply recycled over and over again. It’s all business. Scientists can have wonderful proposals backed up by research and formulas but if you can’t turn it into a business model, it’s dismissed and only recognized in the scientist community. Electricity could be free and countless natural resources could be saved but no, money is more important so screw Mother Nature, capitalism wins.

World hunger. The amount of food in the world is completely disproportionate. People don’t have to be in poverty and dying of hunger, but we live in a greedy and selfish planet. If you give someone the proper tools to sustain themselves, they will be self-sufficient. There are many organizations that help doing just that but it’s not good enough. It’s also a matter of education, you can’t just give someone a cow and expect him to know how to make the most of it.

There are so many things wrong with the world but you’d be surprised how much a difference just one well informed person can do.